Whilst on the Scarborough and during a dive in Gibraltar harbour I found a tampon, also referred to as tampion, that was from HMS Whitby. Though until very recently I didn't know what ship this came off as there is no name and the badge shows just the relief of the casting without any paint on it.
On the same dive in Gib harbour I also dredged up several Pussers diving weights, a wardroom silver salver (still with the gravy stains which had caused it to be "scuttled") and 2 x 4.5in brass shell cases.Some time later I was moved temporarily to Tenby, I can't recall why, and did a swap with their Pusser. I stowed my ill gotten gains against the ships side down the back of the wardrobe.
When next I saw him after a spell of rough weather. "How the hell do you sleep in that cabin? It sounds as if there is a pile of shell cases and a heap of scrap metal behind the cupboard!"
Pusser got very bolshy, threatening fisticuffs etc. Eventually I stood up and announced " I was a Southern Counties boxing champion in my youth. You're pissed and I'm sober!".
End of problem.
On the same trip I made a reputation by handing round a gross of Durex.
Doing a night diving exercise in Gib and was in the middle of a half necklace doing a ship's bottom search. While negotiating the prop, there was a flash and a mighty bang as a thunderflash went off, seemingly 3 inches from my nose.
Surfaced and advised "Medical Emergency" on board. Climbed jumping ladder over stern with great difficulty carrying diving set. Ripped off rubber bag, water dripping everywhere, and taken to PO's mess where one of the WE's had "gone blind". Blind pissed was the diagnosis!
Enter Solange - French wife of officer from Submarine Depot ship HMS Forth and Bridget Bardot clone.
Brief discussion re abdominal pain, patient requested to pop behind curtains so that I can examine her.
After brief delay to permit disrobing and lying on couch I pull back corner of screen and enter.
Solange is standing by couch, completely starkers!
"'Ow would you like me Docteur?"
Being far too young and innocent I was lost for words.
"It is important for you to realise that all sailors are useless &*^~$! and the only way to get anything out of them is to treat them as such"
Not impressed.
Ship's Company miserable, not much work being done. Numerous sailors on upper deck feeling queasy.
Number One appears from screen door.
"Why are you men all loafing on the upper deck when there is work to be done? Get back to your places of work" etc etc.
Stops talking in mid sentence and runs to rail for copious chunder.
Serves stupid prat right!
Enjoying breakfast. Fried eggs, bacon, sausage, fried bread etc.
Enter First Lieutenant.
"You f***ing doctors are totally useless etc, No effective remedy for seasickness, blah blah"
Self. " No problem. I can guarantee to stop you vomiting any time you like. Only problem, medication also causes sedation. Not fit for work for next 8 hours."
No 1. "Anything. Can't stand any more of this vomiting".
Quick trip to sick bay. Return with large syringe full Largatil ( Major tranquilliser). Take great pleasure in sticking it into stupid buggers arse.
Afternoon Tea. Scones, sticky buns, biscuits etc.
Enter First Lieutenant.
"Where's the f***ing doctor? Nearly died. Been unconscious in pit. No work done entire day. etc etc"
Self looking ostentatiously at watch. "That would be right. Exactly 8 hours since I gave injection!"
Raucous laughter from assembled officers.
Peace for several weeks after!
Enjoying late breakfast with MEO an old and bold two and a half ringer.
Fried eggs, bacon etc, etc.
Ear splitting noise from above.
MEO throws down eating irons, drops egg on deck, leaps to feet knocking over chair.
"Follow me Doc!"
Slightly stunned but follow up ladder to bridge. Pause to recover breath.
MEO. "First law of the Engine Room. 3 short blasts = my engines are going astern = get upstairs pronto before the silly bastards up there hit something."
A lesson I never forgot!