The Galatea was tied up in Gibraltar, and it was someone’s Birthday, it might even have been mine, I can’t remember. We had formulated our run ashore plan, a few whets, casino - win a few bob, few whets, big eats and then a few more whets, followed by a run ashore and a few more whets. Pity the border was closed.
There
were about six of us, trying to look cool but standing out like sore thumbs in
the casino, I put a pound on a single number and it came up. One of the other
lads did the same, so we were quids in. Between us we were over a hundred quid
up, so it was down town to get properly rat-arsed, Sods Opera, annoy the locals,
big eats, ‘yard of ale’ etc, shame about the Red Barrel. Never mind, beggars
can’t be choosers.
About 12.30 and half way through The Dance (Just about to light the paper) when the effing Redcaps came in, one of them recognised me from the other night, he had caught me feeding beer to one of the Apes! Which was very naughty. I don’t know why I bothered; the Ape didn’t like Red Barrel either. This effing Redcap made a beeline right for me, so I dived out the window in just my knicks and flipflops.
Once
outside their Landrover soon caught up with me, and after a short chase with me
apparently shouting “Help, Rape” Help, Rape”, they cornered me down a dead
end. It was like a scene from a
Clint Eastwood movie, these three effing great Redcaps with their Truncheons
out, with poor little me in my knicks and flip-flops illuminated by their
headlamps, not a pretty sight! It really was shite or bust - so I ran straight
at them, a couple of body swerves and I was past them. I carried on straight
over the bonnet then the roof of the Landrover. “Hooray Freedom” straight
into the arms of the Naval Patrol and the Provost Marshall!! Oh Shite!
I
sat in the starter awaiting the kick,
Amusing myself by rotating the stick,
Down came the green flag, The plane gave a cough,
“Cor blimey,” said Wings’, ”He has tossed himself off.”
The
moral of this story is easy to see,
A fleet air arm pilot you never should be,
But stay on the shore and get two stripes or three,
And go out every night on the piss down at Lee.
