The 984 Radar watchkeepers, of which I was one, were housed in a gangway mess, 3R2. I was one of the fortunate during Flying Stations in that I was off watch and playing 'Noms' (Nomination - card game). The SRE (Ship's Radio Equipment) Broadcast let out that Flying Stations were finishing just as the last Buccaneer to land had slipped a 500 pound bomb loose and the said bomb was lying on the flight deck in the area of the "R " section. We were told that the bomb was armed but that if the impact of "falling off" the Buccaneer had not set it off it "should be" safe until it could be defused or whatever.
Being fish heads (sailors) our first reaction was to make a few jibes about 'airyfairies' (Fleet Air Arm), some of course not so flattering, but in the main the card games etc. were continued. It was a few minutes later that one of the REM's (Radio Electrical Mechanic) mentioned that the bomb was almost immediately above us with only two decks separating us from the offending item.
Discussions then centred around the destructive power of a 500 pound bomb versus the staying power of an armoured flight deck. Being a bunch of Greenies (electricians) the actual facts (of such seaman like things) were not in our possession but that has never stopped a crop of "experts" piping up for heated discussions. It was generally agreed that even if the thing went off, apart from a headache, we would not have a problem. However one could not help notice that within a period of about ten minutes almost the entire mess required to relieve themselves.
Comments like "back in a minute - just off to the heads" were thick and furious in arriving, Even more unusually, those who wanted to go to the heads actually went to the heads. The heads were the after heads about 2V, some way away. For this reason the boat deck just for'd of the mess was used as a convenient first choice (but highly illegal) position for the depositing of liquid waste over the side.
Eventually when the bomb was rendered harmless, the announcement made and the mess started to refill.
Tongue in cheek discussion allowed us all to conclude that :
One mess member who never left the mess was a REA(3) (artificer) who had been crashed out in his bunk after being entertained to copious gulpers for his birthday.
This young REA when woken to prepare for the imminent night "rounds", after looking around to identify his whereabouts and roughly what day it was, stretched and Grunted "F#/&?/&% I'm busting".
He then rapidly went for'd (not aft) to relieve himself.
Second lesson: