I was drinking
in a Bar when a girl caught my eye
She had a ring through her nose and a tatt on her thigh.
I asked her name and she said "I'm called Gwen"
She smelt like a horse and she danced like a wren.
She said "Come on Jack are you game for a laff"
So we jumped in a fast black and went back to her gaff.
Her house was in Torpoint and on the front door
Was a crest from each ship that had been there before.
I said to her "Gwen that's impressive to see"
As it looked like she'd been on twelve more ships than me.
It smelt like the mess after a good run ashore
With lanyards and cap Tallies all over the floor.
She walked to the window and sat on the ledge
I slid my hand in her knicks and felt meat and two veg
I tried to get out but she got hold of my leg
It was then I knew Gwen was an ex killick Reg.
I ran out of the door and into the street
With my kecks round my ankles and nowt on me feet.
Thank God I'd escaped and gave praise to the Lord
Got big eats, a taxi and went back onboard.
So if you're ever in Guzz and bump into Gwen
Just remember she's really a Reggy called Ben.
Anon